When in Rome
by WingsofDust
Summary: A little something I wrote for English class. Oneshot. And remember: When in Rome... conquer it! Rated T for violence.


The man reached the door the Princess had indicated, but hesitated. He looked around the arena. It was quite a large King, being lazy, had not had it cleaned in years. As a result, the remains of those unfortunate enough to choose the tiger littered the ground. This gave the young man an idea.

The Princess looked down from her lofty perch on the Royal Balcony, and wished the young man would choose a door already. She had told her father, the King, to arrange this arena, because another man, a rich, powerful, high society man, had caught her eye, and her boyfriend, who was currently the arena was now an inconvenience. Though the King had set no limit on how long the accused had to choose their fate, the Princess had grown weary of this spectacle.

The young man grimaced in disgust, and began tossing the human skeletons into a large pile under the Royal Balcony, much to the puzzlement of the crowd. After an hour, the pile was finally complete.

Throwing open the right hand door, the young man jumped back, as the tiger he had suspected was there lunged out. Dodging the attack, the young man sprinted up the pile of bones, and with a mighty leap, grabbed the railing of the Royal Balcony. Pulling himself up and into the Balcony, he stood back as the tiger followed close behind.

One thing that was not mentioned before now in detail was the King, specifically his weight. Years of sitting, eating, and thinking does no wonders for a man who loathes exercise. As a result, the King was fat. Very fat. Naturally, the hungry tiger considered the slow, fat, King to be a better meal than the fast, lean young man. So the King met his early demise.

While the King was being eaten, the young man grabbed the King's scepter, and shoved the distracted tiger off the Royal Balcony. It crushed the large bone pile with a crash, and paced the arena.

The Princess, infuriated that her plot had failed, drew a long, sharp knife from a hidden pocket in her dress, and charged the young man. She went for his throat, meaning to take his head off, but he was too fast. Whipping around, the young man tripped the Princess with his foot, and gave her a shove with the scepter. Screaming, the treacherous Princess landed at the paws of the waiting tiger, where she met the same fate as the King.

Once the tiger had eaten its fill, it was far more agreeable. Cautiously climbing down from the Royal Balcony, the young man climbed on the tiger's back. With a roar, the tiger and the young man broke down the left side door, and lady behind it was more than happy to marry her true love.

After the wedding, the young man and the young lady rode the tiger off into the sunset, in search of fame, fortune, and riches. The young man's name was Brutus.

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**Epilogue**

After riding away on the tiger, Brutus went on to become a member of the Roman Senate, and a close friend of Julius Ceasar. After assassinating Ceasar, Brutus became the Emperor of the Roman Empire, and ruled for many decades with his wife by his side.

The semi barbaric kingdom fell into chaos and anarchy for many years, until Brutus led his invading army to conquer his homeland. The Romans and their way of life was welcomed by the people of the semi barbaric kingdom. Eventually, the people were introduced to a new and fairer method of justice, though gladiator fights and public executions were still popular. And so, this story of a semi barbaric kingdom ends with a semi happy ending.

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_The moral of the story? If your girlfriend tries to dump you, conquer Rome. Hey, who said it has to make sense? Or even be remotely serious? Ah well, Aesop was from Rome anyway. I think._

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**A/N. Yeah, when my class read this one I got some strange looks. Most people wrote stuff like, "and the princess regretted killing her lover and committed suicide," or "and the young man married the lady behind the door, for the princess wanted to spare his life no matter what." I think I was the only one who wrote about conquering Rome Aesop's Fables style. **

**Oh, and by the way- I do not own Lady or the Tiger. Read and review!**

**-LPGD**


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